3 ways to help reduce stress and exhaustion during Christmas
Smack bang in the middle of the festive season, some of us may already be feeling what we believe is ‘inevitable’ exhaustion and stress associated with this time of year. But by implementing a little mindfulness, along with preparation and dedication, we can help our bodies and minds find pathways of ease through the Christmas bustle.
The holiday season can be very difficult for some. Grief, trauma, loneliness or health conditions, among many other challenges, can aid in societal expectations throughout this period in becoming triggering. Please be kind to yourself and honour your feelings. If you need any support and someone to speak to, please contact Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636).
When we are busy it can be easy to forget our simple day-to-day healthy routines. Being aware of this and making space for such actions where we can, will make a big difference. Although it sounds obvious, remember to hydrate, get as much rest as possible (you’ve got to love those post-Christmas-lunch naps), and stay active (within your parameters). Utilising reminders on your phone, or locking in a healthy activity with a friend are great ways to achieve consistency.
Here are three additional steps to help you on your journey to reducing stress and exhaustion during Christmas:
1. Setting boundaries
It is very common in the early days of January, to feel as though you have gone beyond your usual limits. What you ate and how much you drank. How much you socialised and whom you spent your time with. The amount of sleep you got, how much money you spent and how many responsibilities you took on.
Throughout the festivities, you might find yourself running on auto-pilot, doing whatever is needed to meet the expectations of society, family members, friends and work colleagues.
If you can, carve out some time to stop and think about personal boundaries, filtering what is acceptable and desired in your life against what is not. To identify your boundaries start by asking yourself some questions. Here are some examples to help:
· What is important to you at this time of year?
· What makes you happy?
· What makes you anxious and exhausted?
· What can you tolerate and accept?
It is also important if there are others within your household (partner/children/housemates) to consider them. What will make my partner happy? What will exhaust our children? What will cause my housemate to feel anxious?
If you have a partner, set aside time to have an open and honest discussion with them. What you can, and what you want to commit to, based on your collective needs. And remember – if you reach an impasse, you can always divide and conquer, there is no need to reproduce the festive season model imposed by society.
With a clearer understanding of your priorities and obligations, you can begin creating a road map to meet your own needs while balancing various responsibilities.
Those of us who are people-pleasers might find the idea of implementing boundaries, that will affect others, daunting. One way to ease into the beneficial world of boundary setting is by starting small. Set time limits for visits or social events, choose to disengage from challenging conversations, ask for help with cooking or communicate financial spending caps on gifts.
When it comes to communicating bigger boundaries (we won’t be visiting for Christmas this year as we are annually alternating family visits or I am starting my own Christmas tradition this year with my chosen family), it may help to discuss well in advance, to give those affected time to process your decision. While it may be tempting to make up excuses or to blame others for your decision, truthfulness and directiveness will create stronger foundations for the future. Explain honestly that you have decided to spend quality time at one event each year, rather than half-heartedly attend multiple; or that right now it’s too overwhelming to come home for Christmas and it’s important for you to spend Christmas day with your friends.
It is important to enter these potentially challenging conversations with realistic expectations of your loved one's reactions (surprise, anger, sadness). This will help you hold firm to your boundary if faced with resistance. It may also be helpful to offer positive alternatives to the behaviours you are altering, reminding loved ones you care about them. You might let them know your time with them is important and you want to find some time in the new year to catch up. Or perhaps explaining, although you will only attend Christmas every second year, you will be able to stay for longer and be more present.
Setting boundaries is a courageous act of putting ourselves first. It’s a great way to break the people-pleasing habit and practice the art of self-care and verbal self-defence.
2. Acknowledging gratitude
When our minds are preoccupied with a widespread busyness, it can be easy to overlook what we are grateful for, instead, focusing on things we desire to be different. A tipple of gratitude can do wonders for your mood. Shifting your thoughts away from negative emotions and uncomfortable sensations, you begin to focus on pleasing things that you may have overlooked.
It can be easy, for example, to feel guilty about crossing our, often self-set, limits of indulgence. Noticing an adverse thought and turning it around in our minds is a great step. Perhaps instead of thinking “I should have only had one serve of pudding”, one could remind themselves “I am lucky to have such beautiful food to consume, I will enjoy every mouthful”.
Here are three ways to begin your gratitude acknowledgement journey:
· Notice things you are grateful for. Whether you start a gratitude journal, or simply practice a 5-minute gratitude meditation, this is a great practice to create awareness. Begin by thinking of 3 things each day you are grateful for. It could be as simple as a cool breeze on a hot day or a thought-provoking line in a good book. It might be people, nature, community, creature comforts, art, culture, or anything at all.
· Once you become aware of the things that you appreciate, you can begin to savour them. Noticing in the moment when something makes you feel happy, safe or comfortable, and allowing yourself to absorb the feeling, letting that emotion linger.
· Expressing your gratitude is a beautiful way to enhance the first two steps; you notice something, genuinely feel the gratitude and then express it. Compliment someone, tell a loved one you appreciate them, or thank someone for their help.
3. Make time for mindfulness
It is well understood that mindfulness practices can help us to increase our ability to regulate emotions, and decrease stress, anxiety and depression. It is important during such a busy and sometimes stressful period to prioritise mindfulness to aid you. Mindfulness can be found throughout the day:
· While brushing your teeth be totally present. Don’t think about getting the ham in the oven, or what time Grandma’s coming over. Just think about the gentle pressure on your teeth or the smell of spearmint in your nostrils.
· Taking a walk around the block. Listen to the sound of the soles of your shoes connecting with the pavement and the breeze softly whipping your hair against your cheek.
Take one small daily activity to switch off and become present in what you’re doing, and then slowly you can add to this. It is important to set yourself achievable goals when trying to lock in habits. Try, if you can, to find time for a daily meditation or breathing exercise, even if just for 5 minutes. Other activities such as yoga or qi gong, or self-care treatments such as a Shiatsu therapy session or a facial, are some other fantastic ways to bring some mindfulness to your week.
All of these practices can take time to find and perform, so please show yourself compassion and patience when considering implementation. Even if this year you simply consider some actions you may want to begin next year, that is an excellent beginning.
